Getting Real

My stomach is churning. My fists are clenched, ready to do some serious damage to whom…..I am not sure. This nauseating and dangerous condition is spawned and fueled by the open conflict of selfish interest in Washington, positions taken primarily to guarantee re-election without consideration for the broader population. 

I am both entertained and revolted the high level of “fools’ gold” we are witness to.  These circus performances masked in authoritative dark suits and serious countenances are designed to win our hearts to one side or another with little regard for fact.  Sound bites that ultimately are revealed as falsehoods quickly become viral viruses infecting the minds of those who choose to stay tuned to that frequency. The principle actors in this drama are not only flooded with special interest pressure (read that at dollars and votes) but are rehearsed and molded to present their most believable face, often covering their authentic self to the media – to us – in the honest belief that most of us, too busy to check the facts, will drink this “koolaid”.   There are some noble exceptions, to be sure, and they are an inspiring break from the pack.  

In some measure the “drama” holds a mirror up to me, making me aware of my own personal world with the question:  “What masks do I wear to hide my truth?”   How much of my life has been spent dancing to other folk’s music, eager to be who I thought they wanted me to be. At first it was those close to me on whom I depended for nurture and support, then those who signed my pay check, and eventually those whom I employed. It took a lot of energy to play those relationship games. 

The paradox of living those different roles that I hoped would keep the relationships thriving was that by hiding my authentic self I actually kept them from really knowing me, and being in a meaningful relationship – the exact opposite of what I truly wanted.   Bottom line – I spent most of those years painfully disconnected from them, lost in my adopted character(s).  

I am talking about the unconscious roles I was playing, totally unaware that I was creating all those false personas, and unaware that some folks, if not all of them, knew that George was a walking, talking sham.  Once in a while a true friend would unzip me and let the light in. Awesome and terrifying at the same time,  it was an invitation to a new way of being.  I have been “unzipping” more and more and I can tell you, life is a lot simpler and richer when I am true to myself, honoring my own uniqueness and accepting my faults with grace. 

I am clear, too, that there are different characters I bring out depending on the situations – the actor, the goofy grand dad, the manager/leader – and they are conscious, honest parts of me.  They are authentic parts that are appropriate for the moment.  And, there are still shadow parts that can get triggered and can be dangerous.  The difference now is that I can usually interrupt those “bad boys” before they take over.  Sanity, authenticity, and a healthy life returns to save the day! 

You wearing a mask?  Living a lie?  What’s at risk if you toss it away and start showing up authentic, honest, and open to others ands new ideas?  You might discover life is a lot richer and easier!   Just my opinion!  Take off the mask and see what happens!