Trapeze Work

Life is a continuing series of transitions, some mark advancing years all beginning with our transition from womb to world, then onto childhood, to adolescence, to young adult life, middle age, to eldership and finally death. Other shifts come with leaving the family of origin, changing careers, health issues, relocating to a new community, faith challenges. These are the shifting sands of life. Sometimes it feels like quicksand, and others, like play-sand. In each instance, we are travelling from one state to another, rather like the trapeze artist who begins on one bar, swings a while on it, then lets it go and flies to another. During that moment between trapezes, there comes the not so casual thought that he will miss the new bar and tumble to the ground.
For me, as I move through both a significant age-marker (80 years as of January this year) and some nagging health matters (vision changes) I know it is time to let go of many things. I have no choice. Time and circumstance demand it. Yet what the next trapeze holds for me has not been revealed, and it is dis-quieting to say the least. I cling to many activities — a coaching practice, workshop leader, my music, active community life — for these charge my batteries every day. I make up that they give me value and should I let go of them, I am without value, unimportant.
And there is little comfort in the space between the two trapezes, only wonder and fear. Wonder of what the next chapter might be, and fear that there might not be another significant chapter. And so I live with the total awareness that change, while not always welcome, is constant and uncomfortable. It therefore is imperative that I be present in every moment of every day, grateful for what is, and curious for what might be. Is that a calliope I hear? Where did I put my clown suit?